2.2. Parimelazhagar Urai Introduction (Part 2)

Recap of Part 1 - P.A.’s first two lines tell us that Learned elders have taken up four broad topics called Aram, Wealth, Pleasure, Veedu, to lay down the path that guarantees Padams such as Indiran etc and Veedu which is characterized by endless and indestructible happiness, for human beings who are capable of living a Principled life.

Now, P.A. continues to tell us more about Veedu. Veedu is a concept that cannot be completely understood in layman terms. Just as how we cannot measure the length of a sea using a small foot scale, we cannot describe Veedu using the words available to humans. So Thiruvalluvar did not write a separate chapter on Veedu. Then what is the use of talking about it, when even Thiruvalluvar cannot describe it or write about it ? Might as well close the book here and forget about it! P.A. says, even though human minds cannot comprehend the meaning of Veedu directly, the path to Veedu can be shown indirectly  - like the effect of certain cause. Eg: If someone asks me the way to Mr.X’s house. A direct response would be, “you see the tall tree, and a yellow house beside it? A dog is sleeping outside? That is Mr.X ‘s house”. Now someone asks me the way to Mr. Y’s house and I say, “You take the first right and go for about a mile, then you will see a garden. To the north of the garden is a big blue house with rose bushes in the front. The house next to the big blue house is Mr.Y’s house”.  This is showing the way indirectly. Thirukkural explains the process of renouncing in a chapter called “Abstinence (Thuravaram)”. When we learn to let go of our attachments in life and adopt a minimalistic living, we will automatically reach Veedu and so by explaining Abstinence he shows the path to Veedu indirectly. (Veedu comes from the Tamil root word – Vidu which means ‘to leave’. When you walk into your house you leave behind all other office work, and external world tensions. Because it is a place to leave, it is called Veedu).

P.A. defines Aram as doing all the things that one is allowed to do and not doing the things that are prohibited, as laid out by elders such as Manu etc. P.A. acknowledges that even before Thiruvalluvar many Saints have written about Aram. There was even a book called Aram Nool which is lost over time. In Tamil Culture, whenever a person decided to master a skill - any skill (cooking, teaching, bomb-making etc), the primary lesson was to learn the Aram of the skill. He or she had to become thorough with what the skill should be used for and what things should be avoided. A skilled person had to understand the moral values first. Without this knowledge, skills were not be taught. For instance, Yoga is an ancient practice to attain Veedu (Sadly in today’s world, Yoga is poorly understood as an exercise for health, muscle power, concentration and all that. That is not the goal.) Yoga has 8 parts of which the first four are preparatory stages. The first two stages are Yama (things to do) and Niyama (Things to avoid)  - nothing but Aram. Only a person who has attained mastery in these two can enter the third stage. Aram was insisted because a person trained in Yoga will attain many powers (Siddhis) such as a) Anima (reducing the physical body to the size of an atom) b) Mahima (expanding the body to a large size) c) Garima (becoming heavy at will) d) Lagima (becoming weightless at will) and so on. One can become invisible and go through walls. All these are documented in detail, it’s no secret. Without the preparatory stages if one gets these powers, we can imagine the chaos that the world will be in! When reading this, if you had acquired the power to be invisible what would you do? Get the Lord’s Darshan in Thirupathi? J …I know! That’s why we are required to learn Aram before anything. In today’s world, such a concept is non-existent. We are living in a time where the general belief is that Aram is not necessary to be successful.

Even among Aram, our elders taught things that can be done prior to learning things to be avoided. You see, Among our two histories (ithihasas) Ramayanam and Mahabharatam, Ramayanam teaches us things to do and Mahabharatam teaches us how not to live. Even though Mahabharatam story is more exciting, Rayamanam holds first importance in our society. No one will teach Mahabharatam first. Even when advising children we must say “speak the truth” and not “don’t speak lies” because by repeating the word “lie” many times, the child may develop a curiosity and even a liking for it. Sadly in our society, the media uses only strong negative words to describe things, that too in gory details, over and over again –eg: man slaughtered in the middle of the road, his right arm was severed and thrown aside on the pavement etc. Or movies filled with abuse, rape, and killings. When people are exposed to this over and over again, a person, out of curiosity or may think, how would it feel to do such a thing once? Our ancestors did not advice to advertise the negative things. It is not necessary because humans have a tendency to be attracted to negative emotions. But today, media likes to capitalize on people’s tastes and that’s what they reinforce, whether it is good or bad for the society is immaterial.

Now, Aram has three components a) Following Principles (Ozhukkam) b) Dispute (Vazhakku) c) Punishment (Thandam).

A person’s life has an individual component (a.k.a Ashramam) and a societal component (a.k.a. Varnam - refer Governance& Social Structure in Tamil Society). Sixteen categories can be identified and the rules differ for each group. For eg: Killing another life is acceptable for a Protector but not allowed for a Producer. Educators cannot consume meat but Protectors and Producers can. Protectors can demand tax from public but Producers cannot.

Ozhukkam literally means ‘flowing’. It refers to, following the principles as laid out for a person’s Varnam and Ashramam. Who can we learn the principles from ? Water flows from higher ground to lower ground. Principles also should flow from people of higher values. So we should learn to look up to our elders, who are above us in values. Not from a new  civilization that is only just crawling and learning to walk.

The dispute resolution process is called Vazhakku. Disputes arise when a person has slipped in following the specified rules (Eg: when a Producer killed another human). Now, the case is brought for resolution. Vazhakku happens when a) someone has slipped following the rules or b) when someone lies during  interrogation. Manu Shastra lists 18 ways in which Disputes may arise.

When the guilty is identified, Punishment (Thandam) is given to put the person back on the path of Principled life. The punishments are not at the discretion of the judge but are given as per the dictates of the Book of Law (which was written by learned people).

Parimelazhagar raises concern that if we claim that Thirukkural is a comprehensive piece on Aram then it should have covered all three sections. But we don’t find any information on Dispute or Punishment. P.A. gives two reasons: 1) Disputes and Punishments will help us in only this birth, that is, they will put us on track in this birth, whereas, Principles will put our soul’s journey on the path to Veedu. So it is more important than the other two.  2) The society that we live in will teach the other two components. So Disputes (Vazhakku) and Punishment (Thandam) are left out.

Now, if we have decided to focus only on ‘Following Principles’ (Ozhukkam) then there should have been 16 Chapters for the 16 categories as laid out by Varnashrama Dharmam (Refer post on Governance & Social Structure in Tamil Society). Parimelazhagar says that Learning Age (Brahmacharyam) is a training for Marriage Age (Grihastham) and Retirment age (Vanaprastham) is a training for the Age to let go (Sanyasam). For enacting a play many rehearsals can happen. But when the final play is staged, it is a culmination of all the rehearsals. Similarly, Thiruvalluvar has combined the Learning and Marriage phases as a single Chapter on Married Life (Illaraviyal) and Retirement and Abstinence are combined as a single Chapter on Abstinence (Thuravaraviyal).

The first 12 years of a person’s life was allocated to learning. During the time of learning, there had to be minimal distractions, so it was necessary to keep all the senses under control to allow the mind to focus only on education. This is why education happened in Spartan conditions. Comforts (cushion seats, A/C,  tasty food etc) took a back seat to enable control of all sense organs. Nature also allowed for a distraction free learning by giving desires (Kamam) at a later age. (Those people who studied only for 12 years and then went to create a family are called Boutheega Brahmacharyas and those that took up Brahmacharyam for their entire life were called Naitheega Brahmacharyas). And then when the body goes through physical changes and gets ready for procreation, the need for a partner arises. Ancestors didn’t want to waste this time by fighting against the natural urges. They created a proper system to enjoy the urges in the right way, when they arose. That’s why marriages happened early. Girls were married at the age of 12 and boys as early as 16 (As seen in Silapathiharam). This was planned to keep up with the timings set by nature.  We sow grains for paddy in monsoon. We can sow in summer but the best results are produced when we synchronize our timings with nature.

Illaram literally means Aram for married life. The goal of marriages was not pleasure or procreation. The goal was to do Aram and reach Veedu (more on that later). Pleasure was only a secondary goal in marriages, to make life more exciting, that’s all. Because a majority of women were good at soft skills, the affairs of the house was taken up by them and men took care of the external affairs. In some cases when a man excelled at soft skills and a woman was good at external affairs, the roles were also exchanged. But regardless, Aram had to be followed in their respective roles.

The first half of our life is filled with good changes that we can welcome easily. Our bodies grow and we acquire strength and vitality. Little preparation is necessary for these changes. The second half of our life will have unpleasant changes. We can expect decline in health, forgetfulness etc and we should be ready to take a back seat and enable the next generation to take the driver’s seat. In joint families, the daughter-in-law must be given the authority to run the household, planning the food and allocate resources. The parents-in-law were taught to take a back seat and slowly let go of responsibilities while living in the same house. This is vanaprashtam stage and it was an important stage because letting go is very difficult. It needs training.

Joint family system used to work beautifully. People got married in their prime, were able to work hard and had the energy to have many kids. They learned to take a back seat when their kids got married. This enabled the older and younger generation to live in harmony.  There was no need for an old-age home or a day care. Fewer mental health issues were there. This system is now collapsing. (Late marriages, ensuing marital problems, difficulty in accepting retirement, etc )

So in the Chapter on Married Life, Thiruvalluvar tells us how to live a life with a partner and in the Chapter on Abstinence he tells us how to let go.

          With this introduction, Parimelazhager leaves us at the entrance of Thirukkural. However intelligent a person is, without the blessings of the Higher Power things will not go well, even for Thiruvalluvar. So the book starts with a Prayer. The commencing Chapter is Praise of Lord (Kadavul Vaazhthu).